Swimming Horses

My latest roommate just got stoned on the couch next to me and the video for Cities in the Dust by Siouxsie & the Banshees is playing on VH1 Classics. It's just like college, except now the word "classics" is attached to the songs I grew up with. I feel old but for once I don't feel like using. Oh wait, the video just ended and they're playing Closer to Fine by the Indigo Girls. Now I feel like using. But I won't.
I went and got a pedicure today with my best friend who I will now rename Anna. That's a pretty gay thing for a guy to do but for some reason it didn't bother me at all because it felt so fucking good to have my feet rubbed. For some reason this justification made the event less gay than getting a manicure. I don't really give a shit how my hands look, or my feet for that matter, but since I got something extra that felt awesome out of the pedicure, I can override any embarrassment about sitting on a vibrating chair and having a Korean woman dig dirt out from underneath my toenails for me.
Speaking of feet, I also make sure to always put my right sock on first because I'm scared my right foot will get mad at my left foot if I treat it any better than him. It's not as bad as that kid from The Shining, where he had a little man living inside his finger, but I feel like something terribly bad will happen if I do it backwards. I should mention this to my shrink.