Friday, November 28, 2008

Barf


This is what was served for Thanksgiving this year instead of turkey. For the sole reason that my Tennessee family can use the goose fat drippings as butter for the next few months. I didn't partake because the only things I don't eat are birds and amphibians. Turtles and frogs are just too cute, and birds are special because they're the only creatures in the world that can walk, swim and fly.
I think that deserves respect.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Ghostwriter!


Right on the heels of turning in my first book, I just got a second book deal. Not for me though. I'm going to be ghostwriting a book for a celebrity who I'd say is maybe C+ in terms of national recognition, but surprisingly an A within his specific industry. I didn't even realize just how respected he actually is and how many top list people and companies he still works with closely until doing a bit of research right before our first meeting.
This could either be a total blast or a horrible nightmare. I'm not sure yet if the ego I'm dealing with is a fun one or a scary one. But at the end of the day it's a great paycheck, the whole thing will be over with by April, and it will keep me out of trouble while waiting for my real book to come out. I need a project to get me through the winter, otherwise it's probably right back into the drug pool. It would be easy for me to just coast through until the book comes out. There's nothing I want more than to just live off my advance money, watch TV and take as many drugs and tropical island trips as possible until I have to start doing press, but I know I'd hate myself if I chose that route. So instead, I have two articles out in a magazine now, another article due on Monday and this ghostwriting gig which will start pretty much immediately.
I look at all of this as a big middle finger to certain assholes in rehab who told me I was going to fail. Look at me now, fuckers!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Lesbians are kind of Genius


My favorite lezzies introduced me to the incredible world of Craigslist Free postings last night. This one is my favorite so far, and also breaks my heart.
Come on, one of you has to have a barn. The text above is really tiny, here's what it says:

"We are a family from Brooklyn with a weekend home in Vermont. We got evicted from our house in Vermont and have had to bring our pony back to Brooklyn with us and we have nowhere to put her. She is kind and loving and needs a great family who has the resources to support her. She's living in our teeny back yard right now and seems to be adapting very well, surprisingly. If you don't have a big yard she is small and will make do with what you have as long as you love her."

Christ, people are assholes. Don't let a pony grow in Brooklyn.

Apparently I have Aspergers


I looked up the videos N wrote about. Is it wrong that I think that this dude who has my exact same name and Aspergers Syndrome is really super cute? What's really weird is that not only do we have the same name, but this video was posted on my birthday! Spooooooky! Or fate?

Also, I'm aware that I'm not exactly protecting my identity here. I just don't know how to put black boxes over parts of photos I don't want to show. I don't think anyone cares anyway.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

MeTube


I just got the following email from little sister. She YouTubed my name. Obviously none of these are me. I haven't had a chance to watch and post them yet. I'm scared.

"oh my god! you never told me you had asperger's syndrome and a hot freestyle demo out! i couldn't tell if it was you on the casio or the mike tho. the best is where you duke it out with your last name... they just don't do graphics like that any more."

I'm Baaaaaaack


Holy shit , it's been a MONTH!!! A lot has gone on, but today I turn in the FINAL EDITED VERSION of my book!! Yaaaaaay! And I just moved into a HUGE loft! And I got a truck!
More soon!