One More Color

Just got home from seeing a movie, The Happening. When did Zooey Deschanel become such a terrible actress? I used to love her. I remember flying on the same flight as her to Sundance a few years ago, right when she was just starting to get big. The security guards chose her for a random luggage inspection at the gate. They butchered her name over the loudspeaker and I remember we grinned at each other about how bad the mispronunciation was. It came out as Zooey sounding like "gooey" and Deschanel came out as "desk canela." They made her stand with her arms outstretched at the gate while they went though her luggage again. She looked only a little mortified but was actually pretty game for the whole thing.
It's hard for me to watch movies sober. The first film I went to sober after I decided to try and get my addiction shit together ended up having an entire subplot specifically about my Drug of Choice. I went home immediately after and dug some out of its special hiding place. This is what treatment calls a Trigger. My life is full of them, but they serve a useful function. If a party is boring me to death I can turn to the host or hostess and quietly plead my trigger case and there is no awkward moment about me sneaking out early. Granted, I usually end up at a bar getting nicely buzzed by myself on beer. Or if I am feeling particularly overwhelmed, I just go home and take a Klonopin (I have a prescription, nothing illegal there) and relax in bed with magazines and books.
I rented a place on Fire Island for all of July and August. I'm going to be spending a lot of time out there and I'm hoping it will help me deal with some of my gay issues. It's probably a mistake to immerse myself so fully into the gayest of gaywad islands ever, but maybe I will learn tolerance and acceptance for my fellow queers and their creepy gym bodies and plucked eyebrows and waxed chests. SICK!!!!! Ok, that's not fair, these are weak minded people who feel like they need a homogeneous identity to latch onto because they have none of their own to fall back on, and I guess I should really pity them. But I'm more scared of them. I'm not very quick with the acid tongued one liner. I'd prefer to just lay on the beach the whole time and read books by Tom Spanbauer.
Canada Day is officially over. I listened to the soundtrack to Atom Egoyan's film version of The Sweet Hereafter all day in honor of the occasion. Go maple leaves or whatever else it is you guys have up there. Oh yeah, universal health care. Hey - Don McKellar! Sexiest Canadian actor ever! Want to get married? My Cobra is going to run out soon.