A few posts down I mentioned that I heard about a 16 year-old kid who had posted videos on XTube, posing as an 18 year-old, so I took down the link to another XTube video because I had concerns about how old the people featured in it really were. Later I went back to reading about the kid and how he had killed a man. Then I saw a picture of that man. I know him. Intimately. A long time ago, when I was a very different person, he was a steady source of cash for me. I'll leave it at that.
I found this out an hour and a half before I had to leave for the big gala benefit. What should have been one of the biggest nights of my life floated in front of me like a blurry parade. It had no meaning, no resonance. I can't remember the name of a single person I met. I'm really lost and fucked up about this and my shrink is on vacation for the next two weeks and I have to interview the most vapid, insipid and self-absorbed F-list celebrity in an hour and I'm pretty sure that I am just going to pretend we have a bad connection, hang up on him and crawl back into bed.
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