Urban Legends 3: Bloody Mary

OMG I have SO much to say about this movie I don't even know where to begin. OK, so this is the third film in the Urban Legend series. The premise is standard -- a girl named Mary gets murdered at Homecoming in the 60s and comes back to wreak havoc after a girl says Bloody Mary three times. But she wasn't even looking in a mirror when she said it! Or maybe Bloody Mary is seeking revenge because the sons of the guys who killed her roofied the main character and her friends because the main character wrote a scandalous article about the original jocks' sons in the school paper. Got it? Whatever, this is all irrelevant. I was too focused on this one weird bad guy jock (above), who just didn't seem to fit in with the normal stock actors you see on direct-to-dvd films. He looked like a gay porn star on steroids who is trying to "cross over," or maybe just some stoned dude who works the ski slopes in Park City, since the movie was filmed in Salt Lake City. But I'm leaning towards the porn star theory, because his death occurs when he pisses on an electric fence, and when the EMT workers are packing him up, one of the guys says, "Holy shit, his dick is smokin'!" HA!!!!
Horrible joke, but not the only homoerotic subtext in the movie. The first jock to bite it gets trapped inside a tanning bed (an homage to Final Destination 3?). While he's inside the tanning bed, the camera is viewing him from the feet up and you can practically hear the director whisper "Move your foot so we can see your crotch" and then he does! Which brings me to my last freak out from the film. This movie was directed by MARY LAMBERT!!!! The same woman who directed a ton of Madonna videos, like Material Girl, Like A Virgin, Like a Prayer and La Isla Bonita.
I think this fact lends a lot of cred to my queer theories. There's also a pretty decent 60s sounding soul soundtrack, Sci-Fi Channel style bad digital effects, and a particularly gruesome death scene involving the urban legend about spiders laying eggs under your skin and then hatching. Or is that one real? I can't remember. I know it happened to a woman in The Believers, but in that movie the victim didn't rip her own face off to make it all stop.
Sick!